I don't often think back on the hours leading up to January 26, 2008. While thoughts of Ronan do enter my mind on a daily basis, it's just too painful to dwell on what occurred between learning of his demise and his delivery. What I choose to remember is how excited Reese and I were that we were going to have a child and all of the adventures I dreamed about taking my son on prior to his passing. Those were not painful times. Nor was actually holding him in my arms once he arrived. Though he had passed on from this plane of existence to life eternal, I knew the love Reese and I had for one another had made something beautiful and I knew that love would eventually create again. Having Radha present has made this day easier but my heart still longs to hold my son again. Even if it was for only a moment. Earlier today, we again released balloons inscribed with words that only he is meant to read. Both of his grandmothers were present and even Radha attempted a drawing on the balloon she released for him. Things will be a little different next year since we'll be in a new place and not have as many family members around. However, at the conclusion of January 26th, the day will always end with reaffirming thoughts on my mind and love in my heart. He is forever loved, remembered and missed.
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