So this is Christmas?

Late Christmas Eve, Reese and I were bringing our tradition of last minute gift arranging to a close. When we finally decided to call it a night around 11:20 pm, we quietly ascended the stairs only to find Radha wide awake and standing up in her crib. Fortunately for us, she was lulled back to sleep within an hour and I was finally ready to settle down for my "long winter's nap".

December 25, 2009. This would be the Christmas. The one where I got the chance to live vicariously through Radha and see what it's like to experience it all for the first time. In all honesty, I like to take it easy on Christmas Day. The more time spent at home and the less spent in the car traveling to see relatives, the better. It didn't take long for me to start believing that I will probably never see a Christmas Day like that again. The sudden obligation I felt to ensure that every relative gets to see my daughter, especially on her first Christmas, quickly swept away any delusional, selfish Christmas Day wants I had. The day consisted of quickly showering first thing, opening gifts at our home, eating a quick breakfast, going to my parents' house to open gifts, speeding back home to pack for our trip, driving two hours to my father-in-law's house, eating a very good dinner with lots of in-laws, opening gifts with my in-laws (which took a while since every child gets to open gifts solo with everyone else's attention focused on him/her) and finally settling down for the night. I'm not going to lie...the whole day put my endurance to the test. In the closing minutes, I was able to add up all of the surprised looks and smiles I had witnessed throughout the day and decided it had definitely been worth the testing.

One thing I discovered over the past weekend is that there is nothing quite like Christmas and the end of the current year that makes me realize just how much Radha has grown up. Her new toys, mainly the Fisher-Price role-play and play set stuff, really allowed me to see how many skills she has developed over this past year. She took such an interest in a tea set she received that her and I played with for what seemed like hours. By Sunday, she was pouring pretend tea from the talking teapot into the purple, plastic teacups and then lifting a cup to her mouth. She is growing up. There is nothing I can do to halt that, but now I realize just how rewarding watching these stages go by can be.

As expected, the holiday could not be all sunshine and lollipops. At Christmas Eve service, Reese put an offering into the collection plate where she had written Ronan's name in the blank beside the "In memory of" line. This immediately brought tears to both of our sets of eyes but Radha's high pitched chirp during the offertory music relieved us of prolonging our sadness. We also visited Reese's grandmother during the weekend who is recovering in a nursing home from a stroke she suffered back in October. Even with her limited communication skills she seemed very happy to see us, especially Radha who, thankfully, did not cry the entire length of the visit.

We returned home Sunday night, wiped out yet again. Radha went to sleep fairly quickly. Reese and I were thankful for a few moments of time together before real life commenced in a few short hours. We had survived our first Christmas with our daughter. Now we are preparing for her first Birthday celebration. We should be able to catch our breaths between now and then.

Look how far we've come

It recently dawned on me that 2009 is coming to a close...very quickly. I have had a few great experiences in the last few months that, until now, have remained locked away in my head. A certain little girl's first Halloween and first Thanksgiving are at the top of that list. A first Christmas is less than a week away. Reese and I have been blessed to witness all of these firsts. That's not to say that there haven't been moments of sorrow sprinkled amongst them though. Just the other day, we were both missing Ronan and thinking about another Christmas without him. She asked me if it would always be like this. I answered a very honest "Yes." You never get completely over that loss and the holidays make you miss those who won't be there so much more. That being said, there's still a lot of joy to be had. We both know this and we promise not to miss one moment of it.

On reaching our eighth...

Just a few days ago, Reese and I celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary. Eight might not sound like such a large number, but the amount of experiences you share with a certain person can total quite high when you see her almost every day over such a time span. Even though we've known each other for longer than eight years, what we have been through since "tying the knot" astounds me. I can recall far more good times than bad, but some of the bad have been nearly unbearable. To me, the greatest achievements of those eight years were the conceptions of two children, only one of which is with us today. I would never trade those eight years of experience away for any other eight, even if the new ones promised to omit that one soul crushing moment and several other "bumps in the road". In my book, eight is not enough and I look forward to several more years of life building experiences with her.

Tons of sugar + animated giant robots = Nirvana

For twenty-two minutes this morning, I was eleven-years-old again. My cousin and his wife, who are visiting, made us Cap'n Crunch french toast for breakfast. In an effort to corral their bustling, nearly three-year-old son I opened YouTube and asked him to sit down and watch an '80s Transformers episode with me. The combination of eating that most brilliant concoction and watching A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court transported me back to the distant past much like Starscream and company in that very episode. Who would have known that their visit marked the beginning of a new Saturday morning tradition?

The end is nigh

It's a sad fact of life that two hearts that were once so intertwined can grow so far apart. Such is the case for my brother and his wife who are planning to separate. They have only been married for four short years, but recently she has come to the realization that they are incompatible. He says he didn't see this coming and is devastated. I think an extremely small chance for reconciliation exists but that is not the likely forecast. My heart aches for both of them and my mind reaches back four years ago to that afternoon on the Maui coast when the current state of affairs was the furthest thing from their young and blissful minds. I love you both and hope against all odds that this situation can be rectified. Even if it can't, my only wish is that you both find the love again that you once held for each other.

A Kind Heart

Selkie,

I know that for most situations, you must wear an unyielding exterior. But there should be no question as to how giving you are. I am truly in awe. I wish I could be as understanding of others' hardships and offer the level of kindness that you do. You truly give me something to aspire to. I am proud to call you my wife and thankful that you will someday impart this amazing ability on our daughter.

Rice cereal. Guilty as charged!!!

So, the transition to solid foods has had its ups and downs.  It all came to a head earlier tonight.  Honestly, I'm not even 100% sure that rice cereal was to blame for the damming of little Radha's personal waste disposal facility; but something's got to take the blame and from what I've been told, rice cereal is the most likely candidate!  Fortunately, Reese and I had the tools on hand for the job and once the dam broke, peace and tranquility for our little girl soon followed.  A nice warm soak with a new friend (pictured above) seemed to take her mind off of the entire heartwrenching ordeal.  What a relief it was to see our little girl back to her young self.  Thank goodness for a certain gentle relaxing miracle!