Two Months After Two Years

 Though Henry is too young to have a motto, I'm pretty certain that his has been "full steam ahead" since becoming a two-year-old.  I honestly do not know how I keep up with my boy and I humbly admit that I am not able to do it 24/7.  Thankfully, there are other members of this household who are prepared to step in when my aging locomotive self derails.  My boy is probably not much different than other boys his age: he runs, climbs, jumps, throws toys, pushes boundaries and wants very little to do with mealtimes.  He is vastly different at this age than Radha  was, though, and that's not a bad thing at all.  I'm constantly being reminded that each kid is different and that has to be what keeps a father bringing his A-game.

Thinking back on his birthday party, reminds me how different raising him has been.  Halloween is most certainly a time of frenzied activity for children (and their parents).  How could it not be, with the opportunities for dressing up and setting out to claim as much candy as possible?  Fitting in a birthday celebration and the required watching of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" on top of that just meant later bedtimes for the whole family.  The excitement and joy on my children's faces was entirely worth it, though.

At this point, I'm willing to admit that my children are aging too fast.  Radha will be five-years-old tomorrow, and we will surely be reflecting more on our time with Ronan in the weeks ahead.  Shortly after that, a whole new chapter in my journey will begin as the second digit of my age resets to zero.  I started this year thinking how it was my faith and positive thinking that really pulled me through the toughest obstacles that I faced last year, and I would definitely be doing myself a favor by ensuring that those two armaments remain by my side as I will surely require them again.  "Loving my kids, loving my wife, loving my life" is going to be my motto going forwrd.  Here's to a new year of hope and possibilities for my family and myself.

The Noble Acts

A lot has happened since that day five years ago when I became the father who would not be able to take his son home from the hospital.  We've grown as a family, yet we will always be one member short.  In the past, this day is usually marked by quiet pensiveness but that's not so much the case anymore.  It's times like these when I am most grateful that I have two kids whose boundless energy won't let me sit down and get lost in sadness.  Even though caring for Radha and Henry limits the time for personal reflection, there are still moments where I wonder how different my life would be were Ronan here with us.  It's impossible to know but I am at peace when imagining such scenarios.  It's proof enough that I should not be saddened by his memory.  He was my son and he is so dearly loved no matter the short amount of time we had with him.

This year, in honor of Ronan's memory, Reese organized a book drive to benefit the local library here in Beavercreek as well as the one in her hometown in Texas.  We're fortunate to have so many friends who have donated books and funds that the libraries will use to purchase other titles.  Each book will contain an inscribed plate noting that it was donated in Ronan's memory.  I am certain that the children reading these books will surely gain a lasting benefit and I can think of no better way of honoring my son than that.  It's times like this that I take note of the noble acts that arise from tragedy.

If there's anything that I've learned by watching my own father, it's that the challenges of fatherhood don't get any easier with age.  My driving goal in life is to be the very best father I can for the two children here with me, no matter their--or my--age.  May Ronan's memory alway strengthen and encourage me in this goal.  I love you, my first born son.

Four Years In

My Radha celebrated her fourth birthday just a few short weeks ago.  The occasion was marked by a small party at home with a few of Reese's co-workers in attendance.  Reese really outdid herself by preparing a wonderful Italian wedding soup and a lemon cake with strawberry frosting, decorated with Max and Ruby on top.  The following weekend, a grand celebration took place at The Magic Castle (a local amusement center) with some of Radha's preschool classmates and other friends in attendance.  There, she was anointed "Queen Radha" and she and her loyal subjects spent a few hours having fun by climbing and sliding through the soft play area and racking up tickets from several redemption games.  I was happy to discover that the soft play area was large enough for me to enjoy as well.  Climbing up and down that structure for an hour turned out to be quite the workout!

As would be expected, another year brings a whole new set of challenges.  Lately, Reese and I have been challenging Radha to engage in more "big girl" behaviors such as not waking us up in the middle of the night after she uses the bathroom.  She has been handling them well, with slight reluctance.  I continue to be so thankful that she loves going to school and has made some good friends there.  That's one thing that I hope will continue throughout her entire schooling journey.  There is no doubt that the challenges of being a parent have increased--especially now that Henry is mobile--but I gladly accept what each new day brings, considering how great the rewards are.  I am so very grateful to have both of these children in my life and as we close in on the fifth anniversary of our first son's passing, it makes me realize even more what a blessing Radha is and how much my soul was healed upon her arrival.  May her joyful, curious, humorous, "can't stop for a second" personality continue to motivate me to provide her with growing opportunities all year long.  I love you, my sweet girl!

A Truly Amazing First

Today marks the occasion of Henry's first birthday.  It's quite interesting when a birthday coincides with Halloween.  Seeing as how this was his first birthday, and he didn't care much about its theme,  Reese and I decked the house out with both Halloween and  birthday decorations.  It's not often that you will see a "Happy Birthday!" balloon floating right next to one of a giant ghost!  Henry was dressed as a fireman (again, not that he had much say in that choice) and Radha was costumed as Lulu the Ladybug Girl from one of her favorite book series.  Fortunately, my mother and father traveled here from Texas to celebrate alongside of us and many of Reese's coworkers attended and brought gifts for our boy.  It was great to see the younger children dressed in costume as it added even more excitement to the festivities.

It now seems so long ago that I first heard the news that Reese and I would be expecting another son.  At first, I was inundated with worry remembering what had befallen our Ronan and not quite sure if the parenting style I had adopted with Radha could be adapted to raising a son.  That is all in the past now and I can't imagine what it would be like not having Henry in my life for the past year.  Though it is a scant period of time in the grand scheme of things, it has been amazing in terms of what I have seen him achieve.  Once he began accomplishing his early feats, he refused to slow down.  From being able to feed himself to crawling to creeping and testing himself to see how long he can stand for, this child just refuses to stop for a rest.  I can already sense his thirst for adventure and can almost hear him asking permission to take part in many character defining opportunities in the future.  Even though I had some opportunities for adventure in my youth, I lacked the emotional maturity to fully appreciate and learn from them.  You can bet that I will be ratcheting up my courage so that I can be right there by my son's side and doing a little character defining for myself. Happy birthday, my son!  I love you dearly and look forward to witnessing and praising your future accomplishments!  You are most certainly proof that even the youngest amongst us can inspire an elder to greatness.

The Unofficial End of Summer

Tomorrow morning, Radha starts preschool.  The last three-and-a-half years flashed before my eyes earlier tonight and the realization that she is about to embark on her public schooling journey was enough to bring me to tears.  Of course, there are several upsides to this.  The foremost being that I will get to spend more time with Henry on the mornings that she attends class.  At least it will be another three years before I have to face this again.  Good luck, Radha.  I know that you won't be missing me as much as I will you but that's okay.  I know that you'll be having too much fun to think about such things.  That's the way it's supposed to be.

"Three. That's the Magic Number."

For almost a week now, I have been the father of a three-year-old. My little girl is growing fast. All of the cliches are true. Children really do grow up overnight. It's funny how I never really notice how far along she's come until right after celebrating her birthday. Her vocabulary and interests seem more developed than those of other children, her age, that we often meet at the various parks and playgrounds we visit. I'm certain that some people would refer to her as an "old soul" based on her likes. For instance, in the several weeks leading up to her birthday, she insisted that she wanted a Charlie Brown cake to celebrate the occasion. I attribute this to the fact that she alternated watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving," "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and "I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown" non-stop for the last two months of 2011. Of all things for a then two-year-old to become enamored with, I would have never imagined it to be Charles Schulz's beloved "Peanuts" characters. I told her that was a good thing, since her grandparents are partial to those characters she would be more likely to receive gifts featuring them.

This birthday was extra special considering it was the first her little brother was present for. While the focus was squarely on her, it was nice to see him dressed up for the occasion and being cradled by all of our friends who showed up for the party. Our children are loved, and not just by us. That much is evident. It is a really special feeling to know that other people are delighted to see Reese and I as parents and to be congratulated for being so. I missed her grandparents not being here to celebrate alongside us, but that was expected considering we live such great distances apart now. Perhaps next year they'll live closer to us.

With everything that has come along with being three, I can only imagine what she'll have accomplished by the time she turns four. I hope that it doesn't get here too quickly. We've got a lot to discover together and the window for being three is small (those windows just get smaller with age). I believe that those discoveries made when magic is still magical are the ones that stick with you forever. Here's hoping that 2012 brings nothing but magic.

October 31, 2011: All Treats, No Tricks

I had every intention of making this particular entry before now. However, the past few weeks have reminded me of how little free time one has--or makes wise use of--once a new child enters your life. Our third child and second son, Henry, was born on October 31st at 11:41 A.M. He weighed seven pounds and five ounces and measured 20.5 inches long. We never expected a Halloween baby, but when Reese woke me up around 8:00 A.M. that morning and informed me that she had been having contractions for the past two hours, I knew he would be there before noon. His delivery was unique in that the entire delivery team was composed of women who were all smiles and congratulations once he was safely here. Upon arrival, he made us quite aware of how well his lungs functioned, but once he was swaddled and placed in Reese's arms, he became the proverbial "sleeping baby." It was nice to see Reese as alert as she was post-delivery. There really is nothing more evident of a human spirit as watching a mother bond with her newborn child.

Later that afternoon, I was able to pick Radha up and bring her to the hospital so that she could get her first glimpse of our newest family member. Seeing how it was Halloween, I had her wear her costume (Little Red Riding Hood) and bring her pumpkin along with her. She received some treats from the nurses and another family, who had just welcomed a new arrival, offered her some "It's A Boy!" mints. She did show some interest in her new brother and even sat on the bed and held him for a few seconds before something else in the room caught her attention. After bringing her home that evening, I was able to take her to ten houses or so for some Trick or Treating. It turned out to be quite the magical experience for her and I'm quite certain that Halloween is now her favorite holiday. Late that evening, I returned to the hospital where Reese and I spent our first of a few rough nights. Thankfully, Henry slept in the nursery for a few hours of each night we were there, making the stay a bit more bearable. It's hard to imagine a situation that makes you more thankful to return home and sleep in your own bed than a few nights spent in a hospital.

Now that Henry has been home for a few weeks, I have gotten to form a greater bond with him. The love I have for him is different than what I have for Radha but I love him every bit as much as I do her and am willing to jump in front of a train to save him. Reese assures me that is normal and getting to know him better as he grows fills in some of the layers that are not currently present. Regardless, I know that I have been blessed to finally experience raising a son. That is something I have only been able to dream about since we lost Ronan nearly four years ago.

Many thoughts concerning what life will be like now that we are raising two children weigh heavily on my mind, but foremost is how grateful I am to have them both in my life. I am looking forward to the upcoming holiday season and having my entire immediate family at home. Hopefully, the rush usually associated with the holidays will be quelled just a bit this year considering our current situation. I'll do my best to focus on my loved ones and put their most important needs first. May this season truly be a most joyous one for all of us.

"Perhaps I could borrow some honey."

For some time now, Radha has become more accustomed to watching a movie in its entirety at home. Earlier this summer, when I found out about the new "Winnie the Pooh" movie to be released, I wondered if it would be the right opportunity to finally take her on a trip to the movie theatre. Once the movie was released and I found out it was approximately 65 minutes long I knew that the opportunity had come. On July 20th, she and I set out to see what new adventures Pooh and company had in store for their fans. I have loved that "silly old bear" and his stuffed companions ever since I can remember my mother reading the original literary works to me in my youth. While I haven't yet read the stories to Radha, I most certainly plan to do so in the very near future.

Even though I had told Radha that we were going to see a Winnie the Pooh movie, I don't think she was prepared for what "seeing a movie in the theatre" meant. The first thing she seemed surprised by was the size of the screen. It was a lot more impressive than the 42" television she is used to viewing at home. Shortly after that surprise, she discovered that she didn't weigh enough to hold down her folding seat. She actually turned this into a game by pushing back on the seat with her legs as it tried to fold up on her. Everything can be turned into a game, it seems. Once the trailers started, she was singly focused on every image shown and word spoken before her. I found it very sweet how she would pat my arm and smile at me after each trailer as if to ask, "Are we going to see that too?" She paid close attention, for the most part, to the feature presentation's story which mainly focused on finding a new "tael" for Eeyore and the search for Christopher Robin after the gang found a note which they misinterpreted due to their undeveloped reading skills (they are just stuffed animals, after all). She asked a few questions along the way and got a little restless near the end but overall behaved unbelievably well for a child viewing her first feature on the silver screen. She even sat through the closing credits (a frequent habit of mine) but it turned out to be worth it, as the Backson that Pooh and friends had been searching for throughout the movie finally made his appearance.

At the end of the day, I knew that this had been a good decision and time very well spent with my little girl. I look forward to a time when we can make more frequent trips to the theatre on a hot summer's day. It's just going to have to be for about an hour at a time for right now.

"May all your dreams come true..."

This weekend turned out to be a very rewarding one. On Friday, I found out that the Dayton Chapter of the Disneyana Fan Club would be holding their annual convention on Saturday and Sunday. One of the great things about having a child is the chance to rediscover some of the things I have lost touch with from my own childhood. The world of Walt Disney, and everything it encompasses, is one of those things I have had the chance to rediscover. Over the past several months, Radha has developed a love for the modern Tinker Bell movies ("Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue" is the first full movie she sat through). When I found out that Margaret Kerry, the model/actress for Tinker Bell from 1953's "Peter Pan," would be one of the convention's guest speakers, I knew we had to go. Yesterday, we arrived just in time to see Bill Farmer (the voice of Goofy for the past 20+ years) and Mrs. Kerry tell some very entertaining stories about their histories working for The Walt Disney Company. Following that, Mrs. Kerry signed a picture of Tinker Bell with a personalized message just for Radha. Of course, there were plenty of Disney goods for sale and Radha ended up picking out a Piglet pin. What made the purchase memorable was how random the pin was. It featured Piglet dressed as a clown with "Happy Halloween 2002" inscribed on it. You could totally imagine a two-year-old picking it out!

I do believe that we are warming up to living in Ohio quite well. Last weekend, we celebrated Father's Day by going out and sharing some great family time together. After the great time we had this weekend, I think we're on a roll. It makes me very hopeful for our future happiness as a family here and eagerly awaiting next weekend.