The Noble Acts

A lot has happened since that day five years ago when I became the father who would not be able to take his son home from the hospital.  We've grown as a family, yet we will always be one member short.  In the past, this day is usually marked by quiet pensiveness but that's not so much the case anymore.  It's times like these when I am most grateful that I have two kids whose boundless energy won't let me sit down and get lost in sadness.  Even though caring for Radha and Henry limits the time for personal reflection, there are still moments where I wonder how different my life would be were Ronan here with us.  It's impossible to know but I am at peace when imagining such scenarios.  It's proof enough that I should not be saddened by his memory.  He was my son and he is so dearly loved no matter the short amount of time we had with him.

This year, in honor of Ronan's memory, Reese organized a book drive to benefit the local library here in Beavercreek as well as the one in her hometown in Texas.  We're fortunate to have so many friends who have donated books and funds that the libraries will use to purchase other titles.  Each book will contain an inscribed plate noting that it was donated in Ronan's memory.  I am certain that the children reading these books will surely gain a lasting benefit and I can think of no better way of honoring my son than that.  It's times like this that I take note of the noble acts that arise from tragedy.

If there's anything that I've learned by watching my own father, it's that the challenges of fatherhood don't get any easier with age.  My driving goal in life is to be the very best father I can for the two children here with me, no matter their--or my--age.  May Ronan's memory alway strengthen and encourage me in this goal.  I love you, my first born son.

"Three. That's the Magic Number."

For almost a week now, I have been the father of a three-year-old. My little girl is growing fast. All of the cliches are true. Children really do grow up overnight. It's funny how I never really notice how far along she's come until right after celebrating her birthday. Her vocabulary and interests seem more developed than those of other children, her age, that we often meet at the various parks and playgrounds we visit. I'm certain that some people would refer to her as an "old soul" based on her likes. For instance, in the several weeks leading up to her birthday, she insisted that she wanted a Charlie Brown cake to celebrate the occasion. I attribute this to the fact that she alternated watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving," "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and "I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown" non-stop for the last two months of 2011. Of all things for a then two-year-old to become enamored with, I would have never imagined it to be Charles Schulz's beloved "Peanuts" characters. I told her that was a good thing, since her grandparents are partial to those characters she would be more likely to receive gifts featuring them.

This birthday was extra special considering it was the first her little brother was present for. While the focus was squarely on her, it was nice to see him dressed up for the occasion and being cradled by all of our friends who showed up for the party. Our children are loved, and not just by us. That much is evident. It is a really special feeling to know that other people are delighted to see Reese and I as parents and to be congratulated for being so. I missed her grandparents not being here to celebrate alongside us, but that was expected considering we live such great distances apart now. Perhaps next year they'll live closer to us.

With everything that has come along with being three, I can only imagine what she'll have accomplished by the time she turns four. I hope that it doesn't get here too quickly. We've got a lot to discover together and the window for being three is small (those windows just get smaller with age). I believe that those discoveries made when magic is still magical are the ones that stick with you forever. Here's hoping that 2012 brings nothing but magic.

Missing winter...

So what is it about winter that always seems to snare me? I guess my overexposure to the Winter Olympics, currently underway in Vancouver, has me missing snow and all of the extra steps to daily life that go along with it. Steps like bundling up just to go out and get your mail and starting the car no less than ten minutes before you even think about going anywhere. There still exists a strong possibility that I will be living back up north again in time to see the first day of winter 2011 come around. Of course, my tolerance level for whatever the season brings will have been considerably diminished by then and I'm sure I'll have some choice words when I have to get out and drive in it again. But there is no doubt that the season brings many rewarding opportunities as well. Snow covered landscapes make for some of the best picture taking opportunities I've ever encountered, hot soups and stews make for some of the best things to fill your tummy with on cold nights and of course, Radha's first chance to flop on her back and make a snow angel will make the hindrances all worth it. I'm even planning on taking ice skating lessons this spring to prepare for the day her and I can hit the ice together. Maybe I'm reaching a bit, but it's these thoughts that keep me cool on the 70+ degree winter days we sometimes get here in Texas. I'll keep romanticizing winter for now...of course if all goes according to plan, I may be writing something a little different here in two years. At least I'll have a cup of hot cocoa in hand for the right reasons while typing away.